Memoirs of a City Bus Commuter

I travel a lot on buses. Almost everyday. And each passing day is a new lesson learnt. To explain all these lessons from thousands of  'classes'  is quite a critical task. So here's a little summary :

1. Never ever choose a rear end left corner seat for the window on a Monday morning - Go for it if you want a total mouse in the corner experience.
2. Never believe it when they say the middle of the bus is the best place to stand - Unless you have inbuilt vacuum adhesive mechanisms.
3. Thinking you are finding youself a corner, never sit in such a manner that your own lecturers are forced to sit around you making sure you maintain 'discipline' in the bus too!
4. Why do garbage company trucks and metropolitan buses have the same colour code - "green and yellow" ??
5. Some new buses have seat belts in a few seats. I wonder why a bailgaadi needs seatbelts... O.o
6. Did you know that a bus conductor's bag always has 3 compartments? (General discovery made while staring blankly!)
7. I have always wondered how old a conductor's bag should get before its replaced, because I have never seen a conductor ever having a new bag!
8. Did you know! that bus stops here, sometimes during heavy rains can be used as rain water storage reservoirs and near natuaral environment for breeding genetically modified hummingbird mosquitos! Only for scientific, rather medic(laim)al purposes. -_-'
9. Often during rains, we find it difficult to close some windows. Mostly because they are jammed or something. What happens when the energy saver sunlight ports get jammed? (I don't know exactly what they are called but these are the opening kept at the ceiling of the new buses to save energy by using the sunlight instead)
10. Hey! Have you ever seen the route boards on the buses falling off its slot at every speedbreaker? Oh ya! I've witnessed that!
11. Monday morning golmaal - Bunny's got it so right!
12. This is a challenge to all earthlings - Get into a bus in Chennai early in the morning, give the conductor a crisp new Rs.100 note and buy a ticket for the next stop. If you manage to get out of the bus without making the conductor curse you till the moment the bus starts again after dropping you..... you deserve a better life!
13. Once, in the bus, I found an empty "window seat" in the right hand side rear end of the bus and occupied it immediately. The windows in the buses happen to be the only life support equipments in case of lack of oxygen, increased levels of water vapour and the bacterial breakdown of apocrine sweat, or stampede, my act is quite justified. A lady got into the bus just after me and found another 'window seat' on the left hand side in the last but one row and occupied it. The seat she had found was the heaven of the bus - left hand side last but one row 'window seat'. There was, of course, a window, in front was the open 'exit', no one sitting next to her, only one girl sitting behind her and me being the only other person in the last row and that too near the opposite window. With these additional features that place was easily the most ventilated. Yet for the next 15mins or so she was starting at me, the expression on the face suggesting defeat and a mixture of grief and envy. I tried my best to understand the nature of her defeat which implied my victory. At the end of 15mins of rigorous analysis I gave up as my stop had come. While getting off I noticed that her window was half closed.
14. Is it true that for one of the rides in Disneyworld Hongkong, the design was inspired by the terrain of the 'Saidapet Arch' bus stop and buses running over it?
15. To the newcomers to Chennai - I hear that 'Ranganathan Street' will soon be a tourist spot under the 'Extreme Sports' category. Due to its intense nature, participants are requested to qualify a 10 day training program, where you will be expected to stand right in the middle of a 5E during peak hour travelling the full distance to Besent Nagar and back, the same exercise standing near the exit, sitting in a middle window seat of a M49 and getting off in Guindy and likewise.
16. When your bus is near a bus stand, don't get alarmed if bags, towels, hankys, plastic bags or even a paapad is shoved at you when you are near the window, because its just people trying to reserve seats in the bus which would start in just a little after 45mins!

So guys, next time you travel on buses, umeed hai ki aapki yatra sukhad rahegi ...  LMAO! Who am I kidding!!!